What’s the difference between influence and manipulation?
Um. One sounds nicer?
Yes, I know. People want more influence. And many people think nonverbal communication skills will lead to more influence. Heck, even I’ve bandied around the term influence before in my blogs and workshops.
But recently I’ve come to the realization that influence is just a fancy word for manipulation.
Because what are we saying, really, when we say we want more influence? We’re saying we want to “get” people to do what we want, see our point of view, agree with us/give us the promotion/vote our way. And we’re looking for some sort of “technique” to help us do that.
If that isn’t manipulation, I don’t know what is.
How ’bout this? How about instead of attempting to “influence” someone to see our point of view, we communicate authentically and see how that lands? And instead of looking for ways to “trick” people into believing our message, we communicate in a way that’s believable? And instead of mirroring our interviewer to “fake” some sort of nonverbal rapport we actually communicate we’re the best person for the job?
In other words, instead of attempting to influence people, why don’t we communicate in a way that’s authentic, believable, and powerful?
Forget about increasing your “influence” and start communicating with purpose. We can help.